Praise the Heavens Men don't get Pregnant
by Audrayy
Summary: Dean comes back after a night of partying with no recollection how he got there or what actually happened, after his vomiting doesn't stop he seeks help in Sam, Bobby and Castiel to find out what is happening. The only thing his condition is similar to is morning sickness in women. Though he couldn't possibly be pregnant, he is a dude...or could he?


**A/N:** Um well. This idea came to me like 2 years ago and today I was just like 'That was a damn good idea'. So here is the first chapter of that 'good idea'. So yeah, Enjoy…

_Music blasted from all corners of the club, the air was thick with the smell of sweat. People of all sexes and sizes danced around him suggestively. But he was too drunk to care. He stopped… was he drunk? He didn't remember drinking anything that night and why was he in this club? Deannnn a voice beckoned from a far corner, distracting him from his questions. He felt his legs move without his consent as he was drawn, no, he as forced, to go to the voice…._

'Dean?' Sams amused voice entered his head as he felt a rough hand shake his shoulder. Painfully he opened his eyes and stared up at the scungy motel room ceiling. 'What happened…last night?' Dean responded, images of flashing lights and loud music entering his now throbbing head, but as quick as they came, the pictures left.

Sam very entertained, replied with 'You tell me, you said you were going out to get some food, you don't come back for 3 hours and then I get this voice message,' Sam held up his phone with a condescending look on his face and pressed a button. The voice message played, blocking out the ringing in Deans ears:

'Sam, I am having the time of my life!' Distant feminine giggles could be heard in the background, 'I am fine so no need to act all brotherly' An encouraging female voice begged him to dance, laughing, you could hear Dean move towards her 'Gotta go Sammy!'

Sam snapped his phone shut and that amused smile returned. 'So do you want to tell me what happened last night orrr…?' Dean groaned and massaged his temples, 'If I knew Sam, trust me, I would tell you. Right now I am more worried about this killer headache.'

Sam sighed and got up, 'Maybe you would be able to think better with some breakfast in you,' He eyed Dean critically, 'and judging by your state, you didn't bring home any food, so basically we have no choice.'

Regardless of his hangover Deans head perked up at the offer of food, 'AND that's why I keep you around Sammy.' Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed the keys to the Impala, 'I'm driving.'

Xx

They pulled up to a tacky local diner called 'The Finer Diner'. Dean always seemed to love these kinds of diners, tackiness and all, so Sam wasn't surprised when a smile spread across Deans face. After getting seated and ordering food; Dean a Bacon and egg muffin and Sam a coffee. Sam attempted once again to prod Dean into remembering what happened.

'Nothing coming back to you?' Sam suggested again. Dean sighed and shook his head, 'I am really confused…maybe my phone will have something useful in it.' Dean felt around in his pockets but came up with nothing but a business card. Inscribed on it was black letters advertising a club called 'The Black Panther'. Deans face shone confusion, his voice mocking 'The Black Panther? -' But this thought was short lived because his food had arrived.

Sam watched him scoff down the muffin in what seemed like 30 seconds. 'Wow… that was fast, even for you.' Sam actually looked surprised, in response Dean smiled triumphantly, 'Don't get jealous Sammy; we can't all be as awesome as me.' He started picking up the crumbs with his fingers but dropped his hand when his stomach rumbled, so loud, that even Sam could hear it.

For the second time that day, Sam was smug. Once again Deans actions had proved stupid. He was about to comment but Dean was already gone, sprinting to the men's room. About 5 minutes later, worried about Dean, Sam decided to check on him. All stalls where empty except for one, where to Sams disgust, violent throwing up sounds were coming from.

'Dean..?' Sam prodded whilst cautiously knocking on the scungy stall door; it wasn't locked so Sam stuck his head around. Deans head was leaning on the toilet seat an unhappy look on his face. 'I'm dying Sam, go on without me, and tell….tell the Impala….I loved her and that….she was always my baby.' Sam chuckled, 'You're not dying it's probably just the effects of your gallivanting from last night. Stop been so melodramatic.'

Even through Deans sickness he managed to narrow his eyes at Sam, 'Gallivanting, really? The 1960's called the want their word back.' Another wave of sickness took Dean as he released another surge of vomit.

Dean sighed when he was done, 'At least this will only last for one day or two..'

Xx

'It has been two weeks Sam….two. freaken .weeks. I have been vomiting every morning for two. freaken. weeks.' Dean sat in the passenger side of the Impala, arms crossed over his chest like a stubborn child. Sam frowned and patted him on the shoulder, ' Don't worry, Bobby will know what to do.'

'I hope so, I freaken hope so. What did the net say? Please tell me there is an explanation.' Dean grumbled. Sam gripped the steering wheel, 'Well there is only one thing which describes exactly what you are going through…' Deans eyes came alight with hope, 'Tell me!'

Sam looked straight at the road and shifted uncomfortably in his leather seat, 'Wellllllllllll…' Dean was getting upset now, Sam could sense it, ' Well what? come on spit it out.'

'They characteristics are undeniable to ones present in morning sickness, for pregnant women…' Dean stared at him levelly, 'Pregnant women? If you didn't notice Sam, I am a dude. Dudes do not get pregnant, praise the heavens,' He smirked at his joke but his face reassumed to serious as he continued 'so what? It's gotta be something else, there is NO way I am pregnant, anyway I haven't recently… you know.' He grinned at Sam, but his eyes still looked worried.

Sam repeated what he said before, 'Bobby will know what to do...and if not, we can always call Cas.'

Xx

They arrived at Bobbys house in less than a day. Bobby was already sitting on the porch as Sam and Dean walked up the driveway. He nodded to them as they walked up the porch, 'Sam, Preggers,' Bobby smirked as Dean laughed sarcastically and went inside. Sam shot Bobby a grin as Bobby got up and followed them inside, chuckling.

Bobby almost instantly got to researching with the help of Sam and Dean, 4 hours in, they had absolutely squat. Bobby sighed and closed the book he was reading about curses, 'I really don't know what to tell you boys. I can't find anything, I don't suppose you lot have had any luck?'

Dean groaned and sat back on the couch, 'Nadda', Sam also resigned and set down his book, 'Me neither.' Bobby looked at them both levelly, 'Then there's only one thing we can do. We have to call Cas.'

Xx

Castiel arrived almost instantly when Dean asked for him. But this time was different when Castiel laid eyes on Dean he looked at him confused. 'Cas, we have a-'

'A problem yes, I can see that Dean.' Castiels voice cut in, eyes scrutinizing him. In about the space of 5 minutes, Dean explained the situation. Castiel nodded along patiently still watching Dean, 'So that the story Cas, do you have any idea what's going on with me?' Castiel frowned and suddenly put his hand on Deans forehead, Before Dean could register what happened his hand was already gone. Castiel looked down eyes calculating.

'It is as I thought.' Deans eyes widened, 'What? What did you think?!' Castiel frowned again and shook his head.

'Dean, you are carrying a child'

A/N: So if you guys likeee this I will write another chapter.


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